When i was a kid, i always love watching fairy tales - Cinderella meeting her prince at a ball, Sleeping Beauty being awaken by a kiss from a handsome prince, Snow White being brought to life by her prince charming. All these stories inspire me to hope that someday, the same thing will happen to me - that a prince will eventually come and swoon me over with a kiss and we'll end up happily ever after. And just like any other girl, I have this vision of a really gorgeous wedding - beautiful gown, dress to kill shoes, pretty make up, glittery wedding ring and a solemn and romantic wedding ceremony - just like in the fairy tales.
But as I slowly come of age and finally reach this ripe old age of 29, I slowly mature and I eventually see life in a different perspective - in all aspects. In my career, my goals in life, in my personal life and of course, the way i see love and my convictions about it. When you grow older, and wiser, you slowly transform form this hopeful, young princess into a practical and realistic woman.
The castle, the glass slippers, the fairy godmothers - all of it just crumbled into pieces and I'm left with one simple conclusion: Love is enough.
Yes, i'm talking about marriage. I still believe that marriage is a sacred thing - a blessed union of two souls who committed to love each other in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer. I still do believe that its a wonderful thing to be in and you are indeed a lucky woman if a guy would ask you to marry him. I always thought that marriage is the end all and be-all of all relationships. That you won't be able to call it a "successful" relationship if you won't end up marrying each other.
But you know what, I never expected that someone whom I barely know - just a simple acquaintance, a former classmate from the catholic school i went during high school - would give me the most eye-opening statement that would forever change my life. She said, marriage is just a piece of paper. You can both be happy and in love even without marrying each other. As long as you promised to love each other, he promised to stay with you and love you with all his heart, that's enough. There are a lot of people who married their boyfriends and finally ending up divorcing or separating for a myriad of reasons.
I'm not saying that I'm just looking for an easy way out. That when things get rough and you don't love each other anymore, you could just pack your bags and leave. That's not me. And that's not something that I'm going to do. I perfectly made it clear to my boyfriend that I will never be the first one to leave the relationship - that's a promise. I love him so much and as long as he still loves me, I will be here. If one day he wakes up and realizes that he doesn't love me anymore, then he has to explicitly tell me that to my face. That's the only time that I will leave. I am very much committed in this relationship that even though its a long distance one, I try my very best every single day to communicate and express how much i Love him so that our relationship will work. and so far, its okay. He says he loves me - and i hold on to those words. I trust every single word that he tells me and those are the "rings" that bind my heart to him.
Honestly, I'm not expecting this relationship to end up in marriage. I do believe that what we have is enough. What's important are the feelings you feel towards each other, the things you do to make the other person feel how important he/she is to you and not some paper signed in the midst of a hundred people. Its not about the pretty wedding gown and the lavish reception. Its about how you feel towards each other.
I know this will be a big issue especially to my friends and my relatives because this is out of the ordinary for me. And I expect to hear comments and violent reactions to this because all of my relatives and some friends are quite conservative but I'm ready - I'm ready to fight for what I believe in and what I feel towards the only man I love. No drama, no complications, just love.
You don't need to spend a whole lot of money for weddings and even divorces.
"Love will keep us alive."
Its enough and its all we, Toni and I need. I could never be any more happier. :)
